*Been a long time since I posted, But I’m back and probably more cynical then ever. One might call me a pessimist, but all I see is a glass with what’s left of my cheap wine in it, which makes me a realist. I have been pretty busy with a comic/animation and pretty much anything else, because I AM AWESOME.*
Holy shit, March has nearly passed and I’m already bored out of my skull. Mayans, nature and just humanity in general have been amping up an awesome end of life show and like a Larry David HBO special, it keeps getting cancelling. We have been hearing ‘It’s the end!’ for some time now, the turn of the millennium to be precise, 14 years is a long time to wait, and yet here we are still waiting. Well I am for one, hell, I waited outside a strip-club for hours because the bouncer told me ‘A slutty version of Pam from the US sitcom ‘the office’ was inside’. I couldn’t believe my luck. When I finally got in, the place had every female character BUT Pam. I ended up letting Phyllis with a eating disorder and track marks grind my phallic area while I tried to think why I found that fucking show enjoyable.
I guess I’ll wait around for anything, fake boobs, fake apocalypse and fake people.
Speaking of, one of the most offensive things to happen so far this year was a front door shakedown by two of the biggest (one literally), bible bashers I have ever had the unpleasant surprise of opening the door to. You know, Mormons or stone masons, whoever has the audacity to knock on peoples’ doors and bother them with nonsensical bullshit. Books and pamphlets explaining how WE need to stop sinning or we’re fucked. Excuse me? What about your god,mythical creature or Jew? Can’t they do something? If not, why the hell are you trying to appease him/her/it in the first place?
As I was saying, wow, these chicks just didn’t take atheism for an answer. One even had the ovaries to claim she herself had seen god. I’ve seen god to, but I was high on DMT, this chick didn’t even drink coffee so I doubt it was drug induced. Maybe a symptom of stupid? I couldn’t even be bothered arguing with these people, what’s the point? You drink and smoke and fornicate, YOU ARE FUCKED.
That’s the problem with religion in general, unless you are born from a virgin, strap bombs to yourself, light eight candles or haven’t seen the end result of a stroke session with Mrs Palmer then you’re going to hell, no doubt about it! UNLESS you join a cult, I mean religion. Buddhist’s nirvana perspective wouldn’t be so bad, if Mr Cobain didn’t jinx that name for everyone. That reminds me of another aspect that pisses me right off. They assume I want to go to heaven, that I WANT to be saved. Why the fuck would I want to hang out with inconsiderate assholes who wake me up on Sunday morning to discuss being good and virtuous in the next life, let alone this one? Think of a person who has died that you would love to meet, chances are they are in hell, unless the pussies decided to confess and hit the big ol’ delete button on their life. Wipe the slate clean and come on in! Please, what bollocks!
If you can honestly go through life as the biggest piece of shit and then atone on your death bed, what is the point of living your life dictated by a book of ethics and morals written 2000 years ago? Look at most serial killers, the cowards convert and confess, with the exception of Charles Manson (who by the way was considered a prophet, if not a god, by his brainwashed followers. Sound familiar?). These murdering, raping sociopaths are manipulating a get out of hell free card, fair enough it’s all bullshit, they’ll rot just like everyone else, but it gives them HOPE.
If I was a priest, rabbi or religious dude of any other sect, I would hear all their ramblings on how they are sorry and pretend to care. Just when they think I’m am going to absolve them…BAM no go buddy, You’re going to get gang banged by demons. Then I’d throw a smoke bomb and laugh manically as I run out of the holding pen of human scum. Who do they think they are?
By the way, IF the bible was based on fact, wouldn’t you feel pretty stupid being in a religion where your messiah was born ‘from a virgin’? Joseph was a sucker just like half the morons paying child support without DNA proof that it was their creamy goodness that smothered that egg. If she slept with you unprotected and did the insanely awesome ass to mouth, chances are you’re not the only one. Oh and if that’s the case, forget coleslaw cream and go straight for that hardcore topical cream.
I remember watching ‘Passion of the Christ’ and thinking ‘Way to go, you made violence boring. If I wanted to be bored I would have gone to a church of some kind and watched a priest beat a dead horse instead of watching this shitty movie’. What was I on about again? YES, the apocalypse, please arrive soon!
mindcoitis 